Sincerely, Your Autistic Child (2019), edited by the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network, is a collection of letters and essays from autistic adults addressed to their younger selves, to their parents, and to the parents of autistic kids today. It is one of the most quoted books in the autistic-led parenting library and one of the most useful reads for parents of autistic children at any stage.

What the book is

The anthology gathers writing from autistic adults across a wide range of identities — autistic women, transgender autistic adults, nonbinary autistic adults, autistic adults of color, autistic adults with intersecting disabilities. Each contributor writes from inside the autistic experience to the parents of autistic kids today, offering the wisdom they wish their own parents had received when they were children.

The letters cover: what masking does to autistic kids, what autistic kids need to hear from their parents, what therapy modalities help and which ones harm, what acceptance looks like in everyday family life, what gender-diverse autistic kids specifically need from their families, and what the long-term arc of being raised supported versus being raised "treated" actually looks like.

Why the book lands for parents

It is direct without being preachy. The autistic adults writing in Sincerely, Your Autistic Child are not writing as advocates trying to convince anybody. They are writing as adults who have lived the experience their child is currently in, and who are willing to tell parents what they wish their own parents had known.

For parents who are early in the journey and feeling the pull of the cure-narrative organizations, this book is the corrective. For parents who are intellectually neurodiversity-affirming but unsure what that looks like in practice, the letters give specifics. For grandparents and extended family, the book is a way to hear from autistic adults directly without needing to be in a relationship with an autistic adult.

Specific letters worth flagging

The collection rewards a slow, repeated read. Some letters that families consistently mention as transformative:

  • The letter on what autistic burnout looks like in childhood, written for parents who think their kid is "just lazy" or "just defiant."
  • The letter on the cost of presuming nonspeaking autistic kids are not present, written by an autistic adult who was treated as absent until they accessed AAC at age 11.
  • The letter on autistic gender identity, written for parents who do not yet know their child is also gender-diverse.
  • The letter on therapy that helps versus therapy that harms, written without polemics but with clarity.

How to use the book

Read it alone first. Then read selected letters aloud with your partner or co-parent. Then, when your autistic kid is old enough, give it to them. They will recognize themselves in voices they have rarely heard before.

Where to find it: Available from AWN directly at awnnetwork.org, and from major retailers. AWN often offers bundle pricing for parent groups and family events.

Source briefs (internal): webearish-audit-2026-05.md

Disclaimer: educational content from autistic adults and the autism family community. Not medical or legal advice. Consult a qualified professional for medical and legal decisions specific to your situation.